Sometimes you just get it. You have that sixth sense
when life throws you lemon flavored fruits. We all have it, but we don’t all
use it. Right before you do something, always consult your mind. Think before
you act. This is what that little voice is telling you before it grows up and
leaves you:
- Something is wrong when you find your friend hiding
in the closet crying instead of
fapping. - Nairobi has ... special drivers. Repeat it in your mind everyday you get behind the wheel.
- Lower the laptop volume before pressing play - we all know laptops are too low for music, but too loud for porn.
- Have two fingers dedicated to Ctrl+S in case the lights flicker. Power = Work/Time, but @kenyapower don’t care.
- Log out when someone else wants to use your phone.
- Check your fly before walking out the bathroom.
- Don’t stop to look at the bra when unhooking.
- Check for typos unless you want to know the jerks who are ready to correct you.
- Google before asking tweeps or the idiot next to you who will google it anyway.
- Shoot the zombie again just to make sure. #DoubleTapRule
- Don’t fill the cup with tea to the brim so that you can walk with it properly without spilling. With beer, it’s cool to spill ... people will applaud!
- Your car doesn’t know it’s way home. Delegate.
- Switch phone out when out to avoid drunk-texting, drunk-tweeting ... drunk-mpesaing.
- Spray air-freshener before a number 2 - because, let’s face it, you know what you ate.
- Check facebook so that you don’t forget important birthdays.
- Pee before you leave the house.
- Charge your phone before leaving the house.
- Lock the door when
fapping. - Don’t post nude pics of yourself.
- Pocket when in crowds.
- Let her win the argument – when women are happy, they let you touch them.
- Don’t let her win the argument – she’ll respect you for holding your ground.
- Consult before committing, if you’ve earned the beer-goggles award
- Drugs destroy lives, Jesus saves lives and Condoms prevent lives.
